This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was
"Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old
white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38
p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious
behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the
Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the
road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his
purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I
guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with
evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinett
County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience
until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual
situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to
(Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' "

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,: "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"

 

I hope this guy doesn't drink on Halloween.... he'll bring a whole new meaning to JACK 'O lantern.