s14smiles

Oh how I wish I had a camera today... it would have been FUNNY.

Mission objective: Load 240 #1 onto trailer, bound for body shop. Once at body shop, unload 240 #1, load 240 #2. Return to base camp with 240 #2.

Seems simple enough, right?

WRONG.

Brief background - I am used to working with hondas. They are light. A honda shoves right onto a trailer without needing much additional help. 240 #1 is a stubborn *****.

So I go to my friend's house, get his trailer, and come back, fully intending on loading 240 #1 in about 15 - 20 minutes. Because I have the header/intake mani/intake off (body shop needs more room to paint), the car doesn't run. I don't expect what happened over the course of the next TWO HOURS.

1. We back trailer up to car. This is easy. "We" is my dad and I.
2. We ponder the car for a moment, decide to just heave away.
3. We heave.
4. Car doesn't budge. Why is still a mystery to me.
5. We step back and ponder some more.
6. Light bulb comes on above dad's head - We have a tow rope! Unhook trailer, hook tow rope to 240, hook other end to truck, drag 240 onto trailer.
7. We ponder. This seems logical and doable.
8. I retrieve tow rope while dad unhooks trailer.
9. Both ends connected, initiate truck pulling.
10. It's working! It's working! Wait.. rope is rubbing! STOP!!!!
11. SNAP!
12. Watch 240 roll into woods.
13. Wonder how long 240 will roll before it hits something.
14. 8 seconds or so, before coming to rest on top of a sapling.
15. Ponder situation. 240 has a tow rope "tail", is in the woods, and we are sitting with a truck, the other end of the tow rope, and the trailer.
16. Dad's light bulb priveleges are thus revoked. My light bulb turn... Let's use a come along (4 ton strength) to tow the 240 out of the woods, then onto the trailer.. AKA the way we should have done it in the first place.
17. I go to retrive come along... of course, it's MIA.
18. Go to Pep Boys for NEW come along.
19. Retrieve 240 from woods.
20. Tug.. tug.... of COURSE the ***** is STUCK on the tree roots.
21. Ponder situation some more.
22. Try jacking up front of car.. the tree is wedged.
23. Dad gets out chainsaw. For a moment, I am undecided about whether he is going to use it on the tree or me.
24. After some creativity, 240 releases its death grip on tree.
25. Mom *****es about her tree. Dad has chainsaw. She stops.
26. Use come along to ratchet 240 onto trailer. PROGRESS, AT LAST
27. Take turns ratcheting 240 onto trailer. Crank for a few, rest for a few.. the going is slow, because the come along is only like 8 feet long and it's a 16 ft trailer, so basically the idea is to ratchet it up a few feet, apply e brake, hook it to the next rung, ratchet it up some more, repeat.
28. I am ratcheting along, quite happy, straddling one of the rungs.. progress is being made... almost the entire rear end of the car is up on the trailer.
29. *crank crank WHAM* I have never been in this much pain in my life and am convinced my life as I know it is over. My entire bottom half is in immense pain. (that guy's rolling in pain, by the way)
30. I gather myself and realize that I am suspended in my air. If I was a guy, my cojones would have just been knocked into next year... luckily I'm a girl and the bar caught my butt and not.. well.. you know.
31. Why the hell am I in the air straddling a bar?
32. Why the hell is the trailer neck and hitch pointing upwards and not attached to the truck?
33. Dad's trailering permit is revoked, along with the lightbulb permit.. he didn't snap the guard down, and the weight of the car at the back end did a seesaw effect and lifted the front end.. taking me with it.
34. I hobble around for a few minutes, walking it off.
35. Ponder the situation once again.
36. I push down on the hitch.. it's pretty easy to manipulate.. I theorize that with my dad on the neck (he's beefy), we should be able to drop the neck down and reconnect it.
37. Now it's my turn for the light bulb priveleges to be revoked. I thought the front wheels of the car were on the ramps.
38. They are not.
39. Apparently, when the car slammed down, the ramps came off the end (they're the drop on the trailer kind.. not permanently attached.)
40. When dad stands on the front end, the rear of the trailer lifts off the ground.. the rear wheels are on the trailer.. leaving only the front wheels on the ground.
41. The front wheels are not affected by the emergency brake.
42. Dad presses down on front end.. rear end lifts up....
43. SLIDE!
44. Watch 240 AND trailer go into woods.
45. Luckily, trailer jerks to a stop a few feet later.
46. Put chocks in front of front wheels, dad stands on neck, brings hitch down to truck level.
47. Dad is not beefy enough.. hitch is stopping about an inch above hitch.
48. Ponder situation.
49. "MOOOOOM!!!!"
50. Mom and Dad, standing on the tree, C-U-S-S-I-N-G.
51. Finally, all is hitched.. properly.
52. Continue ratcheting 240 onto trailer.
53. 240 is FINALLY on trailer... by an inch.
54. My light bulb comes on.. gently drive truck and trailer to downhill facing area so we can just let it roll down, with me in driver's seat to pull e brake, of course.
55. We gently drive truck and trailer to downhill facing area. This is the first thing that has gone smoothly all day.
56. I hop in, bump e brake... 240 settles over axles.
57. Thump... thump...
58. The trailer does not have drop down wheel wells.. battery is disconnected so no window up or down ability...
59. I am stuck inside 240.
60. Dad is tempted to leave me there.
61. Dad pushes 240 towards rear of trailer so I can get out.
62. I get out.
63. My lightbulb comes on again... We'll let the ebrake off, let 240 roll to the position we want it in, then chock the living hell out of the wheels.
64. We let ebrake off.
65. 240 rolls...
66. And doesn't stop...
67. Until it is at the veeeery front of the trailer.
68. I wonder what finally stopped it.
69. Mom won't notice the dent in her truck's back bumper... I hope...
70. 240 is so far to the front, it has actually passed the wheel well on the trailer. I can open the door again!
71. I say F IT! and set the ebrake. If 240 wants to sit there, let it sit there.
72. Driiiiiiiive to body shop.
73. 240 unloads relatively easily.. not too many complaints.. couple of bangs on the way down, but nothing alarming.
74. We roll 240SE out of the parking spot it was in at the body shop.
75. I get in, intending to steer it to line it up with the trailer.
76. Dad and I prepare for a similiar argument like that given by 240.
77. Dad pushes, I steer.
78. THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA!
79. WTF?
80. I hear dad laughing.
81. I open door to see what is so funny.
82. THUMP!
83. My door is hitting something... the wheel well of the trailer?!
84. YES! My door is hitting the wheel well of the trailer!
85. WTF?!?!
86. I am stuck in 240SE.
87. Dad pushes 240SE towards front of trailer.
88. I brace for hitting the back of mom's truck yet again.
89. 240SE calmly rolls forward a few inches, just enough for me to open the door, but she doesn't hit the truck.
90. Ponder situation... the car literally just about loaded itself.
91. At this point, after the calamity that was loading 240, there is nothing left to say, no cusswords that haven't been muttered.
92. 240SE sits peacefully on the trailer the whole way home.
93. Pull truck and trailer into driveway at home (base camp).
94. It has been raining most of the way home.
95. I get out of truck, it's still raining. Dad and I begin unstrapping 240SE.
96. It stops raining.... divine intervention, I tell you.
97. I get in 240SE. The brakes on this car haven't been used in a year. They are rusted and who knows if they work.
98. Gather courage, dad pushes 240SE backwards.
99. 240SE rolls easily off trailer, and is going straight as an arrow exactly to where we want it, next to the tree...
100. And the brakes worked like they were brand new.

yarou

iTrader: (1)

Hahaha, sounds like a fun and educating day. I'm glad you and your VJ are alright.

Ayuaddict

wow, i love this narraration. you should write a book and when its a national best seller, split the profits with us, cuz you know, it was my idea for you to write a book.

i remember loading my old 240 onto a flatbed, the front wheels were a foot in the air, and the car was being dragged up on the frame rails. lovely.

Bryan

Nice, its always fun when doing something that you think will only take a few minutes takes way way way longer lol

s14smiles

what was funny to me was the se loading itself. 2 hours to load one, 2 minutes on the other. Madness.