Good times
Contributing Member
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,587
From: Socal, 909/626
3 guys stranded on an island find a magic lamp. They rub it, and out comes the genie. The genie grants each of them 3 wishes, one week apart.
The first guy says "I want to be rich, live in Las Vegas, and have showgirls as my mistresses" and POOF he disappeared.
1 week goes by, the other two guys thinking what they want. The second guy goes, "I want to be a famous movie star with houses all over the world" and POOF he disappeared.
another week goes by, and the genie goes "okay it's time for your wish" and the third guy goes "I't lonely and boring here now - I wish those two guys came back."
POOF.
The first guy says "I want to be rich, live in Las Vegas, and have showgirls as my mistresses" and POOF he disappeared.
1 week goes by, the other two guys thinking what they want. The second guy goes, "I want to be a famous movie star with houses all over the world" and POOF he disappeared.
another week goes by, and the genie goes "okay it's time for your wish" and the third guy goes "I't lonely and boring here now - I wish those two guys came back."
POOF.
Contributing Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,122
From: Johnson City, TN
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist."
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist."
Contributing Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,122
From: Johnson City, TN
How?
Ok, A young couple that recently bought a new house went out to eat at a restaurant. When they got back they noticed that almost everything in the entire house had been stolen. Some of the few things that weren’t stolen were both of their toothbrushes and a camera with a few more pictures left on the film. So they used up the rest of the film on the camera and used the toothbrushes. So they get the film in the camera developed and this is when they notice that the burglar had taken picture with that camera of him shoving both of their toothbrushes up his ***.
Ok, A young couple that recently bought a new house went out to eat at a restaurant. When they got back they noticed that almost everything in the entire house had been stolen. Some of the few things that weren’t stolen were both of their toothbrushes and a camera with a few more pictures left on the film. So they used up the rest of the film on the camera and used the toothbrushes. So they get the film in the camera developed and this is when they notice that the burglar had taken picture with that camera of him shoving both of their toothbrushes up his ***.
Last edited by l3ooherS14; Dec 29, 2004 at 06:54 AM.
Contributing Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 651
From: PA
LMAO, and your previous one is one of my favorites except that the last guy brings watermelons.
"(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this---
(*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other
for long and I really shouldn't be asking you for
this..... but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's
just that I haven't had it for a long time I could
already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft
and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate,
but your help can be very grateful!!!
(*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve
asking you for this but I can feel my tongue around it
sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this
has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not
being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum?
Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this---
(*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other
for long and I really shouldn't be asking you for
this..... but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's
just that I haven't had it for a long time I could
already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft
and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate,
but your help can be very grateful!!!
(*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve
asking you for this but I can feel my tongue around it
sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this
has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not
being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum?
Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Contributing Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 549
From: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
She goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?" !
She explains the situation with the toaster.
He tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are saying you that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"
Raine: What was I suppose to have on the sig was it some pillows withs your name on it?
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?" !
She explains the situation with the toaster.
He tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are saying you that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"
Raine: What was I suppose to have on the sig was it some pillows withs your name on it?
Contributing Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 651
From: PA
LMFAO.
"Women are like carpet.... lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever."
"One day a genie came before me and said "I can grant you one of two wishes, you can either have a perfect memory or a huge *****." And you know now that I think about it, I can't remember what i wished for."
"Women are like carpet.... lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever."
"One day a genie came before me and said "I can grant you one of two wishes, you can either have a perfect memory or a huge *****." And you know now that I think about it, I can't remember what i wished for."
Contributing Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,122
From: Johnson City, TN
Ok, so this deaf woman stopped at a bus stop to ride the bus to town. While she was waiting a man walked up beside her. When the bus pulled up the bus driver looked at the woman and the women grabbed her breasts and gave the bus driver a questioning look. The bus driver looked at the deaf woman and started grabbing his ***** in return. Well, the man waiting with the woman didn’t know what to think. So the man gets on the bus while the woman doesn’t. The man asks what the hell was up about that woman. The bus driver explained to the man how she was deaf and they were using sigh language. The man said, "sign language?!" The bus drive said, "yeah". "She asked if this bus was going to the milk factory, and I said no. Its going to the ball park."
